My two daughters
are young women now and when I look at where they are in their
lives, I wonder how I was any part of their talents and accomplishments. Of course, I’ve owned many titles over
their lifetimes: nurturer, caregiver, homework enforcer, cab driver, lunch maker,
bad guy who made rules and curfews and the
volunteer-for-any-job-in-elementary-school-just-because role. But I look for things they might have
inherited from me, something genetic that could have contributed to what they
do now. And I struggle to find it.
My younger child
has been offered a special opportunity to work toward her Master’s degree this
fall. Tuition free. Her undergrad scholarships covered all
of her tuition during those years.
She was a member of seven honor societies, graduated summa cum laude and
her resumé reads as if she’s been in the work force for decades. How is she my child?
She is a visual
artist, as well. Her artistic
abilities amaze me and while I love all of her work, my favorites will always
be her cartoons. She can create on
paper, bringing to life all of these wonderful characters. It’s certainly not anything I can do.
My older daughter
is a musician. She began playing
the violin in first grade and took lessons until she graduated from high
school. The violin was
chosen for two reasons: 1) we
didn’t own a piano at the time and, 2) we had a neighbor who rented string
instruments to schools for their orchestra programs. We rented a tiny violin for our daughter and she took off,
never looking back.
Lessons via The
Suzuki Method started and lasted for a few years. By the way, if you don’t think it’s possible for young
children to perform music by the classical composers such as Bach, Handel and
Mozart, then find a Suzuki School recital and go to it. You’ll be amazed.
Traditional
lessons followed, as did concerts, youth orchestras, ensemble groups and fiddle
instruction. One of my fondest
memories is when she played the role of “The Fiddler” in Fiddler on the Roof during her high school years. She didn’t play from the orchestra pit;
she was up on the rooftop on stage, dressed like a man (including beard). And I loved it. Today, she continues to play gigs around the
Chicago area and I continue to marvel at her musical abilities, as she didn’t
inherit them from me.
So I wonder. I was a good student, but I had to
study, and I was far from brilliant.
I started out as an art major in college and abandoned that career path
due to an unfortunate experience.
Looking back, it was probably a sound decision, as I see the talent my
youngest possesses…talent that eluded me.
As for the musical inability...I took classical guitar lessons for a
while, regretting much later that I didn’t continue. I felt it important that my daughter play an instrument,
thus the music lessons. But I have
no talent for it.
Perhaps I’ve been
pursuing dreams through my kids…some people do it. Although, my daughters have never been forced to do these
things. They continued along their
paths because they chose to do so and they felt good about what they were
doing. And I continue along my
own, wondering how in the world either one of them are a part of me. The incubator idea is strong during
these times.
